Sex & the City Reruns Make me Feel Old

Recently E!, or rather for the past several years, has been playing Sex & the City reruns in the afternoons. I work from home so I frequently turn it to E! for background noise, but recently, I have started being drawn in to the episodes. It captivates me because I first watched the episodes at 21 years old and thought "those ladies are old" & "I'll never have to deal with this." I thought that, because at 21, I could captivate my 21 year old boyfriend to watch 6 seasons with me back-to-back and he didnt bat an eye....at 32....1 episode on TV sends they guy that is present in the room with me while watching it running. My 21 year old self watching the episodes thought the girls were in their 40's. Old and struggling for love. I was 21. I had my love. Or so I thought. My 32 year old self watches the episodes and cringes thinking the girls were in their 40s because I now realize they were my age or younger for the most part. Then I look back and think that my 21 year old self believed that if only those women found love, then they would be happy. That is what the show makes you think. And like I said I thought I had it. But now watching it at 32 years old, I see that these women look pathetic. And I hate it because it is a reflection of society, society believes that women need men to be happy. That just isn't true. I am 32 years old, and yes, I do wish I had a constant companion, a soulmate, but I find myself happiest when I am free. Free - to do my own thing, hang out with who I want. Free - to have only those people in my life who respect what I say when I say it the first time. Free - to be me.

Growing Up & Dealing w People Who Don't

It is Friday night. I'm distracted because I want to write so bad, but the songs I have playing on my Pandora have made me think of things outside of what I originally booted up the laptop for and came to the site to write about. I guess I finally realized what capitalism is...I had been an advocate of it. Because it's selling points are nice. However, when you take a deep dive into the heart and soul of capitalism is on an every day basis you can see it sells a idealism that will only be the demise of the United States or any other "democracy" that attempts to carry on as a "democracy" We get statistics daily how most of the United States population is on drugs. They are - and that is what happens in wealthy societies. And that is what also causes the demise. I get it. Cut government aid. Make the people work harder for a decade or so. Oh...you did that. An entire entitled generation lived at home..never left the nest. Thanks government. You are turning us into China - not a democracy because its really just socialism...in the early stages. I hate that I live in a time where it is on the way down and not on the way up. No one has faith in the government...did you educate us too much? Nope..probably not. Cycles. It all goes in cycles. Just born at a shitty time. But all of us born in this time want to reap the benefits of the times before us. Im contradicting myself. Maybe. A little bit. Not so much.

need money now

What I Do When I Am Bored

Good morning all. This job search thing has gone on way too long and I am way past the initial boredom and onto something great. For the type of boredom simply needs a new word to describe it...boredom is simply too boring of a word. So I had a busy week last week, full of interviews...only to enter this week with no feedback and not hearing a word from any of the interviews. People are so rude these days and it leaves me with a sense of unexplained rejection. It kills the momentum of the job search. Enough about that - I am sure you are just dying to know what I do to get through the tedious seconds of each day without really one thing I HAVE to do...I NEED to do.
So yesterday, I set to cleaning. I washed my roomie's wallet. So that means, I washed his credit cards, his social card, his license, important receipts - they are now blurry pieces of shit. Hey - at least they are clean. So with him not allowing me to anymore cleaning...im now back to even more than more than boredom.
So I have been Speedating on Facebook. Ive made friends with some really awesome guys...only to find out after a few small innocent conversations they want me to talk dirty to them for endless hours in the hope that some of my dirty talk will entice them to jerk themselves off. I assume I have gotten some of them to this point before because then I never hear from them again. So its just like to real life...you fuck them and they leave you.
So I have been playing Mafia Wars on facebook. That damn game. No point. Impossible to "win". Seems like it was specifically made for someone in my tedious state of boredom...but hey...it kinda feels like a job sometimes and that makes me happy.
So I have been playing Rock Band. I played it so damn much. I broke the foot pedal. That was the end of my Rock Band career - no job equals no money for a replacement pedal. Since I am already a Guitar Hero, I find it no fun to play Rock Band unless I can bang on the drums all day.
And thats it folks. That is my life in a nutshell these days - video games, sexting, and facebook, and screwing up other peoples households while attempting to help out around the house.
It can only be said that boredom leads to disaster.